the-absolute-funniest-posts:

sextingbarack:

I don’t care what anyone says, this was the best moment on TV ever.

(via rosieposey71)

j-moriarty:

joeshmo:

shavingryansprivates:

romeo romeo

where the fuck is you, romeo

Fuck you, the original line in Romeo and Juliet is “Wherefore art thou”. And maybe if you stopped being an assumption-making bag of fucking asshole, you’d know that wherefore does NOT FUCKING MEAN “WHERE”, WHEREFORE MEANS “WHY”.

SHE’S ASKING WHY HIS NAME IS ROMEO. FUCK ALL OF YOU. FUCK ALL OF YOU HARD UP THE TOENAIL. I TAKE MY SHAKESPEARE SERIOUSLY AS TITS.

romeo romeo

why the fuck is you romeo

(via this--too--shall--pass)

yellowberet:

ghostmoritz:

yellowberet:

our friend noah

almost got mugged today

they were like “give us your money”

and he literally was like “no thanks?” and WALKED AWAY

and it worked

WHAT THE FUCK????

me and my friend were walking down the street and she had her phone in her back pocket and she felt someone take it and she immediately turned around, grabbed his arm, and said “phone.” and he just gave it back

WEAK-ASS MUGGERS GOD PULL YOURSELVES TOGETHER

(via thanatosplaythings)

meladoodle:

nothing pisses me off more than the fact that 90% of women’s jeans have non-functioning pockets but baby clothes have proper pockets? what are babies carrying around that i’m not? baby wallets? fuck off

(via thanatosplaythings)

jimmorrison1969:

REMINDERS:
hair is not permanent. baths will make u sleepy and so will lotion. if u aren’t up for school don’t fucking go. u don’t need to explain urself. it’s ok to give in to societies expectations sometimes. girl sweat is a gift from whatever the fuck u believe in. just bcause u can,doesn’t mean u should. bring food with u everywhere and don’t hesitate to eat it. ur aren’t as bloated as u think u r. write things on ur hands.

(via thanatosplaythings)

ellendegeneres:

These kids have it all figured out.

(via laugh-addict)

spatialsoloist:

It amazes me that I can accurately type at top speed without looking at my keyboard but still pour water down my shirt ‘cause I missed my mouth in general.

(via thanatosplaythings)

enjolras-is-captain-sassy:

enjoldongle:

i heard you were talking shit about severus snape have a high five and your bedtime is never 

is this what harry’s life would have been like if he grew up with sirius

(via thanatosplaythings)

okmoonkid:

+49° 4’ 27.627”,+1° 32’ 3.0012”
monet’s water garden, facing his japanese bridge
giverny, france

(via gwegg)

kaltlyn:

"we can get mcdonalds on the way home"

image

(via the-absolute-funniest-posts)

isis-:

dupondius:

dingoinnuendo:

this was given to us on january tenth, 2008. that was six years ago. thats more than there are fingers on one hand. thats how many years its been on this earth. i cant believe this, i cant believe everything we’ve done since then and will continue to do as a human race

you know I liked this and didn’t check when it was actually given to us, and the answer is, fucking nine years ago in 2005

this was the greatest youtube video of 2005

(via this--too--shall--pass)

duct-tape-and-safety-pins-inside:

A girl I’m friends with on Facebook posted this status and I love it so much.

duct-tape-and-safety-pins-inside:

A girl I’m friends with on Facebook posted this status and I love it so much.

(via this--too--shall--pass)